I am on a wonderful learning curve, learning to be a better human being.
I have had periods of time when I feel like I could touch the sky and then times that I wonder if I ever knew anything at all.
My taste in music and art reflects this devastating bliss filled roller coaster ride. And my outer teachers, in the form of life lessons and people, seem to ride on each wave of truth and growth and then fall when each expansion seeks its natural conclusion in contraction.
What am I learning?
When I look into the sky, day or night, I see its really infinite out there.
My mind has grown weary trying to figure it all out once and for all.
It just never happens.
There is no once and for all. I am integrating infinity.
I suggest that we are infinite beings reflecting Love, a basic truth, in a finite every changing moment.
It seems to make perfect sense to stabilize my finite moments with a sense of order. I know that I have used this ploy in many circumstances and I have noticed that my friends use their own version of this innately human quality, the ability that we have to control our creation.
To do this I build structures that can hold my current understanding of reality. Just like I build a home to take care of my family. These structures need loving tender care.
Interestingly enough, when my sense of safety takes over, no one is allowed to leave the house. The home moves from a loving container to a prison, and now I need to plot an escape from the very structure that I have built to enjoy my life.
When our religious structures reflect this crazed need for safety then they propose rules that are impossible to follow and penalties that impose the wrath of an imagined god who dams his subjects to hell for their transgressions.
This relationship to life can be seen in every one of our structures. (parenting, friendships, employee to employer, teacher student) We are capable of loving tender respectful care and we are capable of becoming villainous guards and rowdy prisoners.
In my meditation practice I have felt my infinite potential. I have seen that I am the microcosm of an endless macrocosm.
The only thing that seems to stay the same is my need for growth.
My life can not be shackled.
Heart rhythm meditation has taught me that there is an eternal me who is invincible.
It is moving my inner dependence on my mind, to a vital dynamic connection with my heart.
I have discovered that my heart by its very nature understands expansion and contraction. It is also the spiritual source of my connection to the infinite.
My rules are slowly and surely becoming heartfelt and intuitive.
When I can hold dear, my precious direct relationship to Life, then I can be respectful of my need for a quickening that stays beautiful forever even while giving way to the very next sunrise of the potentially new me.
Thank you for reading this and hopefully considering coming to our saturday meditation group.
If you are a beginner and feel timid, no worries, we all start something new every moment. You will be welcome.
If you are a expert, welcome home. Let’s look for the beginning again and again.
Love to you,
Kate
